Love and The Brains First Three Stages

When two people fall in love there is a chemical reaction that happens in their brains.

It is our limbic system and brain’s response in relation to the stimulation that being “ in love” generates. This is what is referred to as the phenomenon called “chemistry” between two people when they fall in love.

The idea of falling in love and chemistry is actually a biochemical process started in the brain ; that two people feel when they fall in love mutually. What falling in love really is; is our physiological response to the stimuli that activates those emotions. It’s our brains bio chemistry that is actually behind that attraction we feel for the one we are in love with. This is what draws a man and woman together in the first place.

As humans our reactions bio physically to the phenomenon of love stimulates our brains chemically to react to love the same way our bodies do when we are hungry or thirsty.

Our automatic systems are inherently wired to respond to love as a need . Our bodies see love as a fight or flight need that has to be addressed as such because of our wiring. Look at what happens when we are attracted to someone as a case in point. We either fight for their love or run from it depending on how we feel about the person after our initial contact with them. All those feelings are part of a biochemical reaction that occurs from out automatic response systems.

From an evolutionary stand point our brain functions on three different levels in relation to love. These three levels are : Sexual Arousal or Lust, Romantic Attraction and Emotional Attachment or Bonding. Without these three levels occurring you do not have a true love relationship. Many relationships do not survive because they do not meet this criteria.

Sexual Arousal or Lust is what first physically attracts us to someone at the onset of a possible love connection . This is our first reaction to someone when they are pleasing to our eyes and stimulate our brain as such. What one person finds appealing may not be so for the next. It is a subjective phenomenon. It is sexual arousal or lust that makes us view someone as cute, handsome or beautiful. Sexual Arousal or Lust also makes us view someone not attractive by what we perceive as such. That’s when you find one person may think someone looks good and the other is not attracted to that person at all. The brain is wired to attract what is finds appealing for that person.

Once we pass thru the Sexual Arousal and Lust stage we then move to Romantic Attraction level.

The Romantic Attraction level is where we get past the initial arousal and lust and want to get to know the person. This is where the sexual arousal and lust moves into the realm of mate potentiality. The brain looks at the person now as a potential mate in a relationship.

The third level in the brain in relation to love is Emotional Attachment or Bonding. Once the romantic attachment is set in the brain; the person makes a decision. They now decide if they want to commit to this person as a couple or not. This includes their toleration of each other after getting to know one another during the romantic attraction stage.

When we see someone and feel a special feeling towards them it’s because chemicals are released in our brains during these three stages or levels.

Each stage sets off a set of chemicals to stimulate the possibility of love.

When two people have chemical reactions for each other the same way this is when love occurs. When they do not; there is no love match.

This is true when one has a brain stimulated chemical attraction to someone but the other one doesn’t feel the same way in return. In order for “love” in the couple sense to occur both parties have to have the same chemical attractions for one another at the various stages. It is because of this fact that one person may be more attracted to someone than the person is to them in response.

This creates a non mutual attraction.